Beautiful Day
by Captain Kork
Summary: Wally didn't understand a lot of things his best friend did- but this took the cake. The speedster doesn't care about anything else right now. He just wants to know why. Triggers: Attempted suicide. Season 1
1. Beautiful Day

**Hey, guys, before you get on me about WtJ, I just want to say that this is mainly for me to vent. Last night one of my cousins (whose actually the closest to me in age) OD'd on tylenol and she's okay now but it was kind of a shock. Just needed to get the feelings out. I didn't even find out until I got home from school today.**

**So please don't bag on me for this- you can point out grammatical mistakes and the like but emotional stuff and realism? Please don't.**

**Also this was editted 07/17/2014**

**Warnings: attempted suicide, possibly cursing**

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><p>It's a normal day. The sun is shining for what seems like the first time in years (though really it was shining yesterday too). Wally was almost late for school- his super speed saving him just in time as always- and was shut down by at least three girls (though he won't admit it to Artichoke later- he'll save that information for Dick). He arrives home in time to give his mother a kiss before she walks out the door on her way to work.<p>

"Oh, Wally!" Mary calls, turning to try and catch the attention of her son. The redheaded speedster skids to a stop and gives his mom a big grin.

"Wassup, Mamma?" Wally asks and the woman has to refrain from rolling her eyes.

"Barry wants you to call him," she informs him, "On the phone, for whatever reason." The teen raises his eyebrows. That's weird; he normally just uses the earpieces. Wally shrugs it off though. He probably just broke it. The redhead ignores the fact that that's something _he _would do and not his uncle and waves his mom out the door before pulling out his phone. He quickly dials the number he knows by heart and waits (im)patiently for the blonde to pick up.

"Hey, Uncle Barry!" Wally calls out joyfully into the receiver as he hears the click from his uncle's end of the phone.

"Hey Wally," The scientist replies, "How's your day been?"

"It was great!" The redhead exclaims, earning a quiet chuckle from Barry. "Are we going on patrol together or am I going to the mountain?" His uncle hums softly on the other line.

"Well," the Scarlet Speedster seems unsure and Wally briefly wonders if his uncle did something to piss Batman off- _again_. (It's not like it was hard though, that man had such a short fuse it was practically nonexistent.) "You should go to the mountain."

"Okay!" Wally replies cheerfully. Maybe Dick had finished his electronic Frisbee he'd been working on. Then they could teach Conner the joys of Frisbee- with a twist of course (Dick isn't called the Boy Wonder for nothing) and then he could possibly get M'gann to play! Oh, the possibilities…

"Um, I have something weird to tell you," Barry cuts through the teen's fantasies. Wally pauses and furrows his eyebrows. Weird? There aren't many things he finds genuinely weird. He could break the sound barrier in his sneakers after all (trust him, he's tried it before). Unless his uncle wants to tell him about magic. Or spiders.

"Maybe you shouldn't tell me then," the redhead says unsurely, he really hopes it's not about spiders.

"Last night," Barry goes on anyway, "Dick OD'd on Tylenol." Wally's mind comes to a sudden halt before whirling back into motion.

"I-is he okay?" The redhead asks, trying to focus his reeling mind.

"He's fine," the teen lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "He's in the hospital obviously. Bats commed me earlier." An uncomfortable silence fell between the two.

"Oh," Wally says for lack of something better to say. Bats- well Bruce- was probably torn up about it.

"He apparently took it last night," Barry continues, "I guess I've just been in shock all day." Wally definitely knows the feeling. "I mean- Have you ever known someone who…" The speedster trails off but the teen catches the meaning.

"Yeah," He replies after some consideration, "I mean I've had friends who were depressed and were suicidal. One of my friends told me about how he tried to jump out his window and his parents held him back." The redhead can hear his uncle's quiet breathing through the phone and tries to focus on the story instead of the thoughts going through his head. "I remember wondering how he could do it- he didn't seem like the type." Wally isn't sure if he's talking about his friend Lucas now or Dick but decides that it doesn't matter. "A couple of my friends are cutters too."

"Cutters?" There is a hint of amusement in Barry's voice and Wally flushes slightly.

"That's what we call them- what they call themselves- I just-" The redhead ignores his uncle's soft laughter. "I'll meet you at the mountain alright- you will be there, right?" The blonde hums a yes and the pair exchange goodbyes.

Wally rushes upstairs to change into his uniform and contemplates to himself whether he wants to run to the mountain or use the zeta tube. He decides to run and stretch his legs but that proves to be a bad idea. It lets him think. All the while he tries to keep his thoughts in control. No matter what he did though, it keeps coming back to why?

He isn't sad or anything. Really, it's more like he's emotionless at the moment. He isn't afraid that Dick's suddenly going to die (he's in the hospitable already and Bruce definitely has the money to keep him stable if he gets too bad), he isn't really shocked that Dick did this- well he is but not in the how could he do it type way but more in the why did he do it kind of way.

Dick has never seemed depressed. Wally knows he tends to get down when the date of the Grayson's death comes around or when he goes to visit his uncle in the hospital but since it was nowhere near _the day _the redhead doesn't think it was that.

Was he really such a bad best friend that he didn't notice when his bro was in pain? Wally didn't see him twenty four seven and Dick _is _a good actor but surely the speedster would've known if something was wrong, right? Well apparently not right.

Wally groans to himself. He should've known that running would do this to him. He really wants to not think about it. He kind of wants to go visit the acrobat but knows Bats won't let anyone near him for at least a few more days and he knows Dick is okay, so why is he so anxious?

Well, that's a stupid question. His best friend just tried to commit suicide! Wally winces internally- he had been avoiding the stark truth and it hurt to finally admit it even to himself. But, he wasn't particularly sad about it- which is weird. Maybe he's in shock.

When he finally arrives at the mountain it feels like any other normal day. Except the fact that Dick isn't there when he's almost always there before him.

"There you are, Baywatch!" Artemis huffs when she sets eyes on the redhead. "About time you got here!"

"Hey, Artichoke, knew you couldn't get enough of the Wallman," Wally smirks though it's half-hearted. She doesn't notice.

"Psh, you wish," the blonde flips her long hair over her shoulder. Kaldur looks up from his book with a raised eyebrow.

"You look upset, my friend," the Atlantean observes and the speedster is seized with panic for a moment. What the hell should he _say_? He's saved though by Artemis answering.

"My friends at school were being all the depressed today," The blonde girl huffs before catching herself, "I mean I get _why_, if I was in the same position with any of you guys…" She trails off and blushes as she realizes what she said.

"What happened?" M'gann asks from her place in the kitchen (how long had she been there? Wally hadn't noticed before now).

"Some kid at my school tried to off himself. He's okay, but…" Artemis makes a gesture with her hands and Wally flinches. Dick had told him that the archer goes to Gotham Academy (he refused to tell why but Wally digresses).

"Off himself?" The Martian blinks in confusion.

"It means he tried to kill himself," Conner states matter-of-factly and Wally winces again. Artemis nods agreeing and M'gann places a hand over her mouth in shock.

"Why would someone do that?" The redheaded girl cries out and the archer shrugs at her friend.

"I don't know, depends on the person," she replies airily and Wally decides he doesn't want to hear it anymore. He makes a move to take off running but is interrupted by Barry- now in his Flash uniform- entering the room.

"I've got a mission for you all!" He exclaims looking like his normal cheery self though his partner can see the pinched quality to his expression.

"Finally," Artemis sighs and Wally suddenly wants to throttle her.

Kaldur raises an eyebrow, "Isn't it usually Batman who assigns missions?" The dark skinned teen asks.

"He and Robin are on some super-secret mission," the blonde explains cheerfully as he begins to lead the team to the debriefing room. The others accept the explanation so easily that Wally frowns at them and lags behind. Barry spots his nephews expression and blurs over to him.

"Would you rather sit this one out?" He asks his nephew and Wally shakes his head. "After this mission, how about we go visit him, huh?" The fastest man alive suggests and the redhead brightens a bit at the prospect but is still a bit pensive.

"What's wrong with Wally?" M'gann asks from her spot next to Superboy.

"Nothing too big," Wally replies, shooting a glance at his uncle, "No need to worry yourself, M'g-Megaliscious." The teen speedster shoots her a grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes. The Martian lets it go after a moment and the Team turns expectantly towards the Flash. Wally tries to keep his mind on the mission but he can't make himself focus.

All he can think is 'why'?

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><p><strong>Not the best ending but...<strong>

**Before anyone asks, I'll ask you- should I add more? Now that I've got this out I have an idea for another chapter but... (shrugs) Just so you know, if I do continue this, it'll be about Dick dealing with what happened (most likely from Wally's point of view). It won't become a huge depressed and down Dick story (probably) and it won't turn into a huge Batfam story or team story. Just Wally trying to help his best friend through a hard time.**

**Anyway, I'd appreciate if you'd review.**

**~Dawn**


	2. Nine In The Afternoon

**So, one, my cousins doing better! She'd going to counseling and has been showing improvement. Thanks to everybody who gave their support! Also, any repetitiveness in this chapter is on purpose-if you guys really wanna know why then I'll explain next chapter, first let's see if you pick up on it. Also, since my Microsoft Word _still _isn't working, this was written using an online spellcheck meaning that the grammar and such is sketch. Also, (to avoid confusion) first part of this chapter is Wally's thoughts before he reaches the hospital. But, enough nattering onto the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you see.**

**Warnings: talk of suicide, cursing**

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><p>Wally decides that today was officially a horrible day- not that is was in anyway great before but- oh, fuck it. Today was probably one of the worst fucking days of his life. And not just because of the "Dick Incident" (he almost laughs if only for a sense of normalcy but he can't bring himself to find it funny) though that was the major defining factor. Well, he guesses that's the whole of it. Dick's attempted- suicide (it hurt to think the word, it made the whole situation seem real and that was the last thing he wanted) was on his mind throughout the whole mission. (Rather counterproductive considering he only went on the mission to take his mind off of his best friend's situation if only for a moment (he wouldn't have gone on the mission otherwise).)<p>

The mission was a success, Wally guesses, but he was far from on top of his game. He had to be constantly brought back to focus by the others and he actually had to have Artemis pull him out of the way of an oncoming bullet, (though he's loath to admit he owes her anything). The worst part was that the Team all knew something was wrong with him but he couldn't bring himself to admit it- he just couldn't. He knew he didn't have to tell them who it was- well more like he couldn't tell them who it was or why (of course, Wally didn't know that himself yet). The redhead simply didn't want to say it. Couldn't bring himself to say it. Saying it aloud- admitting it to someone else made it real, and he didn't care how much time he spent in Egypt as long as it meant avoiding the fact of the matter. Especially to those who knew nothing about it and most likely wouldn't understand.

The speedster knows he'll feel bad about not telling them later but he almost feels as if they don't have the right to know. Wally knows that sounds horrible but despite how close the Team acts and the bonds they've formed that you can only get from fighting for your life together they aren't close. They may all be good friends but they don't really know each other. No one besides him knows about Dick's parents or his own issues with his dad. They don't know about Artemis's hush-hush past or why M'gann decided to come to earth or how Supey really feels about the whole Superman situation (well Dick might know some of it but he's Dick and Dick knows everything).

But- but-

Wally doesn't think he's ever felt this lost. Not when he first got his powers. Not when he saw his Uncle Barry get severely injured for the first time. Nor when they had to go through that failed simulation. This- this- it was almost too much.

"Well, here we are- room 503," the nurse says with a flourish of her arms. Wally has to restrain himself from punching her-does she not realize why he's here? Why Dick's here? She had been nattering away the whole walk up to the private ward. He sends her a glare and she falters slightly before turning to his uncle (now why the hell was he smiling?).

"Thank you for your time," Uncle Barry smiles at her and she brightens again.

"Anytime!" The nurse responds, "I'll leave you to it, then!" She turns on her heel and prances down the hall- ignorant to Wally's glare burning into her back the whole way.

"So, are you ready?" Barry asks as he sets a hand on his nephew's shoulder. The redhead gulps lightly and he's suddenly frozen. Ever since he got back from his mission he's been rearing to visit Dick, but now that he's here, well- he's not so sure anymore.

"What-" Wally hesitates, "What do I say to him?" What could he possibly say to him? Uncle Barry freezes too and a look of uncertainty crosses his face but the teen isn't sure if it's because of his question or something else.

"Now that, I think, is up to you," the blond sighs and Wally frowns. "Do you want me to go in with you?" The teen slumps forward and then shakes his head.

"I don't think- I want to- Can I- I'll be fine by myself," Wally sighs and shakes off his uncle's hand. He barely catches the man's frown before he strolls up to the door and knocks hesitantly. He doesn't hear a reply (well actually, he doesn't allow any time for a response) and proceeds into the room.

The speedster barely takes more than a couple steps into the room before he stops. The room is a bit bare but obviously nice (as it should be considering Bruce is one of the richest people in the world). But Wally focuses all of his attention on one thing. In the middle of the bed is Dick fiddling with his handheld game. He has an IV attached to his arm and the redhead is surprised that his heartbeat isn't being monitored at the moment, though there is the required machine placed next to the bed. He's hunched over and there is a grimace is etched onto his face.

"I thought Alfred told you to get something to eat," Dick suddenly says, not looking up from his game. He then sighs and pinches the bridge between his nose. "Listen, I already said I don't want to talk about it, Bruce."

"I'm not Bruce," Wally interrupts as he closes the door, not caring if he just shut it in his uncle's face. Dick looks up with a startled expression and the speedster flinches at the bags under his eyes. (They look like they've been there longer than a couple days- how come he didn't notice sooner?)

"Wally?" The acrobat asks in shock as the redhead makes his way over to the chair wedged closest to Dick's bed. He settles himself uncomfortably beside him and the two sit in relative silence for a moment as Wally searches for something to say.

"So- how're you feeling?" As soon as the words left his mouth, Wally flinches. How stupid could he get? Asking a question like that... If Dick noticed the speedsters sudden movement, he doesn't let on, nor does he show any adverse reaction to the question.

"I'm fine, just want to go home," the raven comments idly as if this were just a normal injury and this was just another normal hospital visit. Wally almost flinches again but instead chooses to take the time to study his best friend more intently. His movements are sluggish and the normally confident acrobat looks worn and defeated. What'd happened to him?

"No, you're obviously not," the words once again slip from Wally's mouth before he can stop them except this time it's Dick who flinches. The redhead immediately feels horrible instead of apologizing decides to push on. Screw being subtle. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," the raven replies immediately, "I don't." The speedster furrows his eyebrows but isn't surprise. Dick had been berating Bruce when he had first entered, hadn't he? The two fall back into silence though this time it's far more uncomfortable than before. Wally wants to reach out to touch the teen. To hug him- shake him- ask him what the hell was he thinking-?

"Does the Team know?" Dick asks tentatively and he jumps, not expecting the younger hero to instigate anything.

"No, they don't," the speedster replies before pausing, "Well Artemis knows about 'Dick Grayson' but not about 'Robin'." Said hero bites his lip.

"They know?" Wally almost asks who 'they' is before realizing that his best friend was talking about the general public.

"You're not exactly a nobody, Dick, and not all of the EMTs and doctors and such are going to keep quiet with the right amount of money." The redhead's lips draw up into a snarl as he finishes that thought- did no one have any sense of pride anymore?

Dick lets out a sigh, "Oh." His hands clench the sheets and Wally is snapped out of his thoughts.

"Are you sure-"

"Yes, I'm damned well sure!" Dick exclaims suddenly. Wally jumps at the sudden noise and stares at his best friend worriedly. "I'm tired of everyone asking me that! 'Are you okay?' 'How are you feeling?' 'Do you wanna talk about it?' Time after time! I'm perfectly fine! Why can't anyone realize that? I don't wanna talk! What happened has happened. It's done! It doesn't matter! I don't- I don't mat- It doesn't-" His breathing is coming in quick, heavy gasps now and Wally reaches out towards his bro. The acrobat flinches away from the embrace but the redhead keeps his arms out anyway.

"Dick-" the raven puts his hands over his ears and shakes his head frantically.

"No! I don't want to hear it! You don't underst- Nobody understan- I just- I can't- I- I-" Dick is hysterical at this point and tears are starting to leak down his face. Wally is blown away, his best bro never cries in front of people (other than Bruce and Alfred of course). Never. The speedster stops hesitating and ignores all the signs as to what he should do and ends up practically throwing himself onto the other teen's bed and pulling said teen into a tight embrace. The acrobat jumps harshly and starts to fight but he keeps his arms wrapped around him tight. Eventually, the fight starts to drain out of him and he slumps into Wally's arms. Sobs wrack his body and for the first time the speedster realizes how thin his best friend is (and oh god he's such a bad friend and howcomehenevernoticed?).

After Dick finally starts to calm down, he suddenly pushes Wally away. He wipes at his eyes frantically and lets out a shaky laugh.

"You must think I'm pathetic," He states. The redhead starts to shake his head.

"No! Never!" He replies reassuringly but Dick simply gives him a look. "I mean it!"

"Yeah, whatever," The acrobat mutters.

"Dick, you're not pathetic-" Wally begins but Dick cuts him off.

"Save it, Wally," the raven turns away and he deflates. The younger hero's stance clearly states that the conversation is over but Wally isn't willing to give up yet. Dick's shoulders are shaking again and the redhead knows he's started crying again. So, he does the only thing he can think of and pulls his best friend back into a hug. Instead of fighting back, the acrobat comes willingly and actually reciprocates this time. He throws his arms around the older teen and buries his face in the crook of his neck.

"You're not pathetic, Dick," Wally repeats as he pats Dick on the back, feeling thoroughly out of place. He doesn't get an answer this time but he knows the acrobat doesn't believe him.

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><p><strong>So, as always, hope you enjoyed. Ways to contact me and update stuffs are on my profile (though is you wanna hassle me tumblr is best) and I thank everyone for all the faves, alerts, reviews, and general support for this story and my writing!<strong>

**Oh, and, the chapter titles have nothing to do with the story- just random songs that happened to either be playing while brainstorming or writing.**

**~Dawn**


	3. Sweater Weather

**Wow it's been a long time- I apologize for that. This story got pushed out of the way for a while and despite my wanting to update all of my stories, it wasn't until **goodstoryfan **actually messaged me that I was like oh shit I need to get on this. So yes, here it is. It's a but shorter than I intended and a lot more emotional and dramatic than I was anticipating but I kinda like how it turned out. Hope you enjoy! (And I went back and edited the previous chapters for grammar and shit so it should read better).**

**Oops, one more thing, aside from Babs, Dick's friends (and the cheerleading team) are referencing people from other YJ stories but this doesn't take place in the same timeline as the other ones- I just like the characters so they get mentioned.**

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize I don't own.**

**Warnings: mention of suicide, lots more cursing than previous**

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><p>"The doctor says he should be ready to go home tomorrow," Bruce tells Wally a few days later. The two are standing in the hallway outside of Dick's room and the redhead isn't sure he's ever seen the Dark Knight so bent out of shape. He can't find it in himself to blame him. Wally peeks into Dick's room quickly and frowns at the sight of him curled up under the covers. The acrobat looks like a small child when drawn so tightly in.<p>

"That's good… right?" Wally starts, unsure of how to proceed. It tears him up seeing Dick look that way and it is even worse with an exhausted and worn Batman standing beside him. The man's frown deepens and his knuckles whiten as his hands curl into fists. "He's getting better?"

"Physically he is," Bruce agrees flexing his hand, "He'll have to come back in for a checkup but the doctor thinks we got him here quickly enough it shouldn't have done any sort of permanent damage." He doesn't clarify what 'it' was- he didn't have to. All of them know exactly what he means and none of them are ever eager to clarify what 'it' is. Wally isn't exactly sure that was a good thing. You are supposed to face your problems not hide from them but he doesn't care at the moment. And Bruce sure as hell doesn't care from the dull fire in his gaze.

The two fall into a heavy silence, the whiteness of the hospital and the depressing air suffocating them. Wally found it difficult to breathe every time he entered that dreaded place and it only got worse with each visit, but he'll be damned if he is going to stop visiting his best friend in a time like this.

"Did you notice?" Bruce asks, cutting through the silence abruptly. Wally nearly jumps at his voice but instead uses the motion to turn and look at his best friend's mentor. His face is pinched and his normally shiny black hair has lost its shine. Not even during hostage situations or particularly bad crises when they had all met out of costume had he ever seen Bruce Wayne look like this.

"Notice what?" The speedster returns hoarsely though he had a niggling suspicion about what the older man was asking. Bruce's lips thin and he stops flexing his fists, returning them to the white knuckled state they were earlier.

"Notice that something was wrong. I should've noticed. I'm motherfucking Batman for god's sake," the man's voice is thick and he moves to pinch the bridge of his nose. Wally realizes that he is angry with himself and he can't blame him- he's angry at himself too.

"I didn't notice either," the redhead offers as he turns his gaze to the ground with shame.

"But I'm _Batman_," Bruce stressed, "If anyone should've noticed it should have been me! What's the fucking use of being the World's Greatest Detective if I didn't notice there was something wrong with my only child? What does any of this mean if something happens to him?" His voice was steadily rising and Wally reaches out to put a hand on the man's arm but hesitates at the last moment. He retracts his hand just as quickly as he stuck it out. He really doubts his comfort is what Bruce needs right now and he doesn't want to lose his hand.

"You don't know everything-" the speedster tried and winced when Bruce cut him off.

"But I should know this! If there's one thing I should know, it's that my child wasn't happy. What's the use of knowing anything if… _He's my son._ And I wasn't there for him. God, I'm a terrible parent," Bruce presses a hand to his forehead and Wally pretends he doesn't see the tears leaking onto his cheeks. He swipes at a few of his own and tries to ignore the feeling of utter helplessness that has taken over ever since that terrifying numbness from the first day went away.

"Master Bruce, you are _not _a terrible parent," a stern voice interrupts as Alfred strolls down the hallway, looking as put together as he usually does though he appears to have aged ten years.

"How can you say that?" Bruce asks huffing incredulously, refusing to look his butler in the eye. Alfred puts a hand on the other man's shoulder and he looks up suddenly. The look Bruce gives his butler (and father figure, Wally recalls) makes him look like a hurt child, and the sad tenderness of Alfred's gaze makes Wally feel like he's intruding on a private moment. For some reason though, he couldn't look away.

"You are not a bad parent- or a bad person, Bruce," Alfred affirms and gives a soft sigh, "I didn't notice either." The butler is now the one refusing to meet the other's eye.

"Oh, Alf-" Bruce begins but Alfred doesn't let him continue.

"It is just as much my fault, I see Dick at various points throughout the day- sometimes more than you during busier times- and I noticed nothing out of the ordinary. I have failed him and I have failed you, and for that I apologize," he looks up as he apologizes and Bruce doesn't hesitate before pulling his own adopted father into a hug. Wally turns away finally, wanting to give the two men some privacy.

Honestly, he has no desire to go home. His parents would be too cheerful (they know Dick but it isn't _their_ best friend laid up in bed) and he knew he had homework he had to catch up on. Soon he'd have to go back to school and pretend that one of his best friends isn't sick and isn't depressed because he isn't supposed to know Dick Grayson and he is from a small town- who else could it be?

Sighing he trudges into Dick's room as quietly as possible. First he checks to make sure his best friend is still asleep, which he is or at least is faking it really well, before fiddling with the cards the Boy Wonder had piled on his bedside stand. They aren't on display like get well soon cards normally are, and he has the fronts facing downwards so he can't easily see them. Wally wonders what is going through the other teen's mind- why wouldn't want to see the cards his friends made him?

There are quite a few as well, one from Mel the girl who had been obsessed with Dick since he transferred to the Gotham Academy system (there had been some entertaining incidents from running into her at the mall), one from Babs who had drawn a crude Robin symbol on the front, a joint one from Mike and Jess (his civilian best friends) who had written some weird comments on the inside, and one covered in scribbles from the entire cheerleading team. Wally knows it probably wasn't something that could be fixed with a few cards from friends but he had hoped the gesture would have made it a bit better.

There are so many people who absolutely flipped their shit when they found out, so why did Dick do it? He had to have known how many people cared- but the speedster cut himself from that line of thinking. He didn't know why his best friend did it and that particular train of thought was rather selfish of him. This is about _Dick_. Everyone else was unfortunately caught in the aftermath.

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><p><strong>Don't forget to leave a review after the beep. (Ignore me I'm recovering from an illness)<strong>

**Also, once again chapter title comes from the song I had on repeat while writing this.**

**This is your Captain here, logging off.**


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